Tag: silly

Silly Stories, part 6: A Story For Someone: Fiachra The Snake

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these silly stories. In case you’re newish to the blog, they’re just nonsense that I do to amuse myself and started to put up online after a friend asked me to write him a story, so I wrote him the first of this set, and then keep adding to them when something suitably ridiculous comes into my head.

They make me laugh, and that’s why I do them. This one was inspired by a sliver of cheese that looked like a snake, so we called it Fiachra. Obviously you’ll be totally jealous of my awesome rhyming skills. I’m a poet.

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Fiachra the snake,
really wanted to bake,
so he could whip up the tastiest food,

Recipes in his head,
for cakes and for bread,
and desserts that seemed so good.

but Fiachra would never get further,
than getting ingredients together,
as he had no arms.

Part 6 of an irregular series.

Silly Stories, Part 5: A Story For Amanda: Greta The Grinder

Amanda’ coffee grinder is often a cause for concern. So, recently I was in her café one one of those afternoons when the grinder stopped working, and she had to get another. It inspired this addition to my silly children’s stories for adults, which as you are aware, is ~amazing art~

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Greta the grinder moaned and groaned
For she was far too fond of complaining.
Some days she just stopped,
As some form of silent protesting.

Eventually, however, her protests grew too many
And the people began to grumble,
in need of some fresh coffee,
As their stomachs began to rumble.

So it happened that Greta the grinder
found herself sitting unused
As Garbo the Grinder sat right beside her
Munching and purring all afternoon.

And Greta no longer mumbled and grumbled,
But sat silently on the counter,
And watched the people be re-caffeinated,
Until the garbage man took her.

The end.
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Part 5 of an irregular series.

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Silly Stories, Part 4: a story for Lorcan: Lorcan the Chameleon.

Lorcan was bored in a lecture and asked for entertainment, so I texted him this quick little story that I wrote on the spot. Obviously it is ~amazing art~
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There once was a chameleon called Lorcan,
Who could change his skin to blend in,
But soon Lorcan realised,
That it’s far more fun to stand out in a crowd.

So Lorcan the chameleon began to change his skin,
No longer to try and merely fit in,
But to stand out in a crowd,
Feeling quite proud
With colours as eye-catching as could be.

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Part 4 of an irregular series.

Silly Stories, Part 3: a story for declan – Wilma the Worm

This little terrible poem was inspired by boredom in Javas, and the fact that I twist sugar sachets and put them inside each other, because I’m a neat-freak sometimes.

But when I added the chocolate wrapper, it looked like a worm with a fabulous blue rinse, or perhaps a purple mohawk.

I named her Wilma, and gave her eyes. Declan thought her eyebrows were really quite fetching. So I wrote this beautiful piece of art for him.

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wilma the worm
Wilma The Worm

Wilma the Worm

Wilma the worm and her questioning eyebrows,
Went into town to buy herself some glasses,
But a problem arose while trying on frames,
As she has no ears.

So Wilma the worm and her questioning eyebrows
Had to make do with perusing hot asses,
Without the aid of a new pair of glasses,
Because she has no ears.
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part 3 of an irregular series.

Silly Stories, Part 2: a story for no-one: Frank the Caterpillar.

Another in the series of random silly stories about animals.

I know I owe Meadhbh a story, after she asked specifically when commenting on the last one, but that’ll have to wait. This also means that Amanda is wrong – not all my stories are about giraffes! Awesome! I’m a DIVERSE author.

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There once was a caterpillar called Frank who hated the world.
But that was ok, because the world not-so-secretly hated him too.

One day, Frank was walking along, very slowly as caterpillars are wont to do, when it suddenly started to rain.
It rained, and it rained, and it rained some more.

“Fuck this”, thought Frank, as he got very, very wet, “I’m going to hide away from the world. Fuck yis all.”

The world wondered if perhaps it was being too mean to Frank, but then remembered that caterpillars grow up into being beautiful butterflies that are like the popular kids at school, and thought that balanced it out.

So Frank made a cocoon, and hid away from the world.

Time passed.

A little more time passed.

Then, the cocoon opened, and out came Frank version 2.0.
Was he now a beautiful butterfly?
No, unfortunately he was a shit ugly moth and flew straight for the first lightsource he could find.
Which was a UV light insect killer, and Frank got fried.

The End.
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Plz don’t sue me if you cry loads at the sad, sad ending.

Part 2 of an irregular series

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